Emergency assistance - Foreign & Commonwealth Office - British Embassy - What You Can Expect
Any British national who finds themselves in hot water abroad - and we don't mean swimming with the turtles in Barbados - should contact the nearest British Embassy. They're open 24-7.
If there's no British rep, get in touch with the nearest EU Mission instead.
The first thing they'll ask you to do is contact your relatives and friends back home.
Your relatives/friends are supposed to organise your return home, if you can't do it yourself.
All shook up
The embassy will give you the exact same advice if a natural disaster happens - you get caught up in an earthquake, say.
The British consul will only take action in life-or-death scenarios - death abroad, serious accidents and illnesses, arrests and detentions, or if you're at risk of physical harm.
Forewarned is forearmed
The Foreign & Commonwealth Office website has information on Consular Services and exactly what you're expected to do yourself.
There's useful advice including "Security and General Tips" in the "While You Are There" link.
Your holiday travel insurance package should include a 24-hour emergency service and telephone advice line with a friendly voice at the end of the phone to explain your troubles to and hopefully sort it all out.
Take a copy of your insurance policy with you, and a note of the emergency phone number.